My Drunken Journey

• Drunk:"overcome by alcoholic liquor, intoxicated... overcome by any powerful emotion." (Webster's New World Dictionary)
• High.:"drunk. under the influence of a drug. in or to a high level, place, degree, etc." (Webster's)
• Ecstasy:"a state or feeling of overpowering joy; rapture" (Webster's)

Drunk, high, Ecstasy- these are words that people often take in a very negative way. People in the world tend to look to physical drugs, alcohol, sex, etc. to try to make their problems disappear and experience feelings of peace or joy or excitement. Unfortunately this leads to more problems, broken families, devastation, and even death. But let's not get so much on these people's cases. There is something that they understand that many do not. See these people don't try by their own might or power to attain something that they know is impossible to attain. So they decide to depend on whatever it is they can find. They admit they need something/someone to depend on. And they know they were meant to feel/experience something. And there are many former alcoholics/druggies (some I know personally) who once they found Jesus said that He is better then drugs and alcohol.

Well anyway here is how I became away of the power of Jesus' presence and how no one/nothing compares to experiencing His glory. My first "drunk" experience was at 12 years old. My parents decided I should start praying and gave me a timer saying I should pray at least ten minutes every day. I thought that was ridiculous but I obeyed. And since I was taught to be honest with God I would spend most of my ten minutes complaining about the timer. Toward minute 9 I would pop in "And since I have to do this God... I do honestly want to know you more." Well slowly but surely God began to answer that last request of mine. I began to feel His presence, His love, and His pleasure over me. I began to hear His voice and it was not long until I no longer needed the timer and just ten minutes experiencing His presence seemed like a scam. I would often leave the room feeling so overwhelmed with joy and pleasure that I was honestly unsure how I would function normally with the rest of my family. One of these times when His glory was especially thick I completely surrendered to Him and said, "Lord, you are my life." Not until years later would I come to understand that what I had been experiencing was termed "drunk in the Spirit."

So I spent every day of my teenage life with Jesus. Some days I didn't feel Him as much, but I knew that I knew that He was there and in faith would continue talking to Him. And for sure it would not be long until I felt Him again. Sometimes I felt satan and darkness, but for sure it would not be long until Daddy would tell me the truth and I'd feel good again. Anytime I felt upset and didn't understand something I would tell Him and for sure He'd change my mind and then I'd be laughing and smiling. I was in awe growing up how He was able to change any and every situation I felt upset over with just a taste of His presence. It was funny too cause I would pray every morning before doing my school (I was homeschooled) and I would tell God He couldn't make me feel that way (drunk) right then cause I had to do my school. All I knew was that God made me feel joy, peace, happiness, giddiness, and everything good. 

Well when I turned 21 I got lost in religion for about a year. I did not understand how solid I had been before and did not have solidity in the finished work of Christ that I began trying so hard to get what Christ had already given me. I sank into the most awful depression and felt hellish torment in my mind almost 24/7. I thought I was going crazy. Everything that was once so simple with Jesus and me became so difficult. I got extremely legalistic and ceased to enjoy even simply pleasures of life. But looking back now that time was as apostle Paul states, "A light and momentary trouble compared to the exceedingly greater glory." 

Well God got me out of my funk when I realized He'd gotten my out of my funk over 2,000 years ago on the cross. So I began to just live to know Him again. And slowly but surely the feelings came. God sure did a lot with a mustard seed of faith. I then got lost in worship, had visions, felt His presence deeply, began to experience Him as the Bridegroom, and so much more.

I had my first wild drunk experience in Kansas City during the One Thing Conference the day before New Year's of 2011. I was so intense wanting Jesus to give me everything of His kingdom so He could use me to save my entire city. Well I finally chilled by that last day and it was actually outside the conference that He released me to understand His finished work. So we were just going to have lunch with these three young guys from Texas (two of whom we'd never met before) when I got totally wasted on the presence of Jesus. These guys just walked over looking like drugged up hippies and sat down by me. The one guy opened up the book of Romans and started declaring how I was dead and had the Joy. God helped me finally see that I died with Christ and had everything I needed because He was living in me. I was revival. The rest of that day I felt overwhelming by joy and fire, twitched constantly, fell back many times overcome by the Spirit, shook on the floor, and had to be basically carried back to my car at the end of the conference.

Since then I've been obsessed with the finished work and continue to enjoy my Jesus. He has steadied me and helped me through so much. He continues to grow my faith and reveal new things to me. I am on a forever amazing discovery of the glory of Jesus... in the marriage of a life time.

The last drunk story I'm going to tell you was very recent... just last week. Me and my sister in law were going to Dunkin Donuts just to buy drinks and these two young guys were sitting there. I knew they were Jesus people. It's easy to taste Jesus of people when you are addicted to Him. You just know. Well we started talking to them and sure enough they were legit. And it turned out they were having a three day finished work conference thing with Rob and Millie from Kingdom Dwellers ministry right here in Alliance. So I went and for sure I was overcome with the presence of God. The two nights I went I ended up rolling on the floor laughing for I don't know how long. The picture above shows me laughing on the floor, my sis in law laughing to my left (in blue), and the gal we later met at Dunkin on my right. Jesus is absolutely fun, delightful, and addictive.

See God created us for His glory. He knows He is the best thing for us. It's not a pride thing. He just is. That's why He only is God. And He is sooooo delicious and wonderful that He wanted to share His glory and form humans that He could impart His own glory to so He could get lost in enjoyment with us. His glory simply has to expand. And we are that manifestation of His glory. When we receive our new life in Jesus we become His bride and He becomes our source. And Jesus as our source is overwhelmingly better then drugs, alcohol, and sex. And it is also much purer and deeper and spiritual. We are meant to be completely consumed by Him. And thereby our feelings and physical bodies become consumed too. Happy people actually feel happy and they have bodies that are relaxed and stress free. We were created to feel. Feelings are simply a manifestation of what we believe. Faith is what determines feelings. If your faith is in anything except the 100% gospel of Jesus then you will manifest depression, sadness, fear, etc. If your faith is in Christ you will manifest the fruit of the Spirit. But if for whatever reason you're not feeling it all you got to do is rest in Jesus and know you already got it and you will feel again. Like a loving Father/Husband He will comfort you, remind you of truth, and help you feel better, and even use sad hard times to allow you to experience more of Himself. He is even more then a feeling. Feelings are just one small part He consumes. The Word declares Christ fills all in all.

One thing to know too is it is not about the outward manifestations. It is about what Jesus has done for you on the cross. You are already drunk off of Him and that is a gospel fact. He is your source, joy, peace, life, everything. And we all reflect His glory differently. Maybe you roll on the floor laughing, giggle like a duck, twitch, paint, sing, serve, give hugs, or simply smile. We are all in the same vine and we can all fully enjoy our Jesus and enjoy Him off of one another. Here's some verses if you want to check them out or embark on your own journey. Always feel free to share verses or revelations God has shown you on my site. I would also love to here your testimonies and experiences you've had with God. :)

Acts 5: 40-42, 10:10, 7:54-56, 2, 8:39. Song of Solomon 4:7-10, 7:6, 7:10, 2:4, 1:2, and pretty much this whole book. Ephesians 5:18-20 and 32-33. Philippians 4:7. Psalm 16:11. Galatians 5: 22-23. John 6:53-58, 7:37-38, and 17:21-26. Isaiah 35:10, 61:7, 12:3. 1 Corinthians 3:16.